Be Impeccable With Your Word
Written by: Melanie Groves; Metamorphosis Healing
One of my favourite books is The 4 Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. It’s a book I come back to again and again. It’s an easy read and with each reading I find myself learning something more or deepening my knowledge. For those who haven’t read it, this book speaks of the agreements we make with ourselves. Many of our agreements are fear based and keep us small. And many of those “agreements” were made by a much younger version of ourselves ie before we were even 7 years old. It’s as though we are running an operating system that is decades old. The author reveals that if you can release the agreements that you have made that keep you small, there are 4 agreements that when you make with yourself, you create a big empowered life. Think of these agreements as an upgrade to a current operating system, set by a wiser adult. The author describes that when you live by these agreements you become free to live a fulfilling drama-free life.
The agreement I find myself working on right now is being Impeccable with my word. The theme of this includes to:
- speak with integrity
- say only what you mean
- avoid using the word to speak against yourself and or others and,
- use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
As I reflect on this I can say that for the most part I am living this. Of course I have transgressions from time to time when I am triggered by someone’s behaviour but yes, externally I am impeccable with my word.
As I reflect more though I realize the work needs to come with my inside dialogue. When I make a commitment to my kids, husband, clients, friends, I keep it. 100%. I realize that I am not as impeccable with keeping my commitments to myself. The promise to get up to meditate or eat healthier or focus more on business strategy. While I have started putting that time in the calendar, I am still working at being consistent and holding that appointment. It’s interesting, I don’t feel guilty telling my family that I have a client right now or whatever the promise is if I’ve committed to another person. Interestingly I struggle with keeping the appointment with myself. It’s still in that awkward stage where I feel weird saying no to you so I can say yes to me. And yet I know that when I push past awkward and give my Ku (my inner child) what she wants that I am a better version of me.
While a simple agreement, it’s not easy. As an additional support and reminder, I’ve started putting my personal appointments in the family calendar. Like my other commitments, so my family knows when I am not available to them. This way I hold myself accountable AND I get the added nudge from my hubby to say “hey aren’t you supposed to be …..” I won’t lie, I hate the reminders, I hate the nudges, I feel judged. Not by him. By me. And yet once I do it, flow and balance return to my life. I am digging deeper in this, as I realize many of my frustrations stem from not being in alignment, in integrity, with myself. From my heart, from compassion I observe and aspire to do better each time. It’s like Maya Angelou said “Once you know better, do better“.
And that goes too for my inner talk. While I am kind and compassionate in my words outwardly, I still have moments where I catch myself being harsh in my self-talk, that is to say where I use my words to speak against myself. There are times when I forget to look in the mirror and see my value, my beauty, my gifts. While I can confidently say I am much better in this area, I know it’s a lifelong journey to continue moving along the continuum. And that’s ok. As long as I am in integrity with the best that I can do today, that’s ok.
Tune into honouring yourself with your words with this week’s meditation:
May you look in the mirror with truth and love for yourself this week.