It’s interesting to me that words can stir a visceral full body reaction. Coulda, woulda, shoulda…. 3 of the most disempowering words. They make me shudder. This reads of regret and guilt, which are completely powerless and keep you focused in the past as if stuck in a loop. The past is but a memory. You can’t touch it. You can’t change it.
Huna principle #4 MANAWA teaches us that now is the moment of power. Now is when we create. I love how even the Hawaiian language embodies this as there is no past tense in their speech.
Skeptics will say (I know, my analytical logical side goes there too), ok if now is the present and is where we operate, why not use could, should and would?
My personal take? Those words fuel doubt and stink of lack of conviction. In my experience using those words basically says “I am appeasing you, or I don’t want to but this is easier and more acceptable for you to hear than the no I really want to say. These words keep you shackled to someone else’s expectation of you, be it family, work colleagues, community or loved ones.
Huna principle #2 KALA tells us we are limitless.
In that spirit isn’t it better to use language that conveys that power? Let’s tell the universe what we really want. I will, I can, I am while it may seem nuanced, from a perspective of creating your life, empowering words are key.
Like the wise Master Jedi Yoda says “Do or do not, there is no try”. Leave no room for meh outcomes. Declare whatever it is you need and want with clarity, intent and purpose.