Receiving is Giving is Receiving

 In Personal Coaching

Written by: Sabine Roggermeier; Immersion Coaching


Would you be willing to help a friend or a neighbour in need? Would you also be just as keen to ask for help and then receive it? I bet a lot of people would answer the first question with an enthusiastic “Sure.”, only to then hesitate regarding the second question. Why? Why is it so hard for us to allow ourselves to be helped and supported?

Helping and supporting others improves our experience on many levels. We feel we can attribute to something. We have something worthwhile giving; may that be resources, wisdom or simply time. It creates a sense of belonging and helps us have a positive outlook on life. Did you know that helping others even reduces stress and boosts the immune system?

Then why does it often feel so uncomfortable to be on the receiving end?

The classic answer is “I don’t want to be a burden for someone.” or “Other’s have it way harder than me.” Maybe it also creates a sense of lack in us or we are afraid that we loose other people’s respect for us when we show our weak spots. We sometimes feel we just have to muster more strength and try harder ourselves before we can allow ourselves to receive support only for that moment never to come. Maybe we don’t trust others to take good care of us. We might be afraid to open up to receive the help we want only to be abandoned or ridiculed later on. Letting others step in can also potentially take away our ability to control things.

People sometimes quote “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” to cover up the lack of their willingness to be served. What would happen though if nobody were willing to receive? Who would we give to?

As humans we are social creatures. We need each other not only for survival but also for our well-being. Helping each other is meant to be a continual supportive circle of giving and receiving. We all have important things to do; may that be raising children, creating a business, bringing forth inventions, leading a group of people, creating relationships, etc. All these things can potentially change the world for the better, but rarely can we do them completely on our own and guess what? We were never meant to either.

The beauty of helping someone is only complete when this person makes room to be supported. Or think of it this way next time you wonder about asking for help: You are rendering a service to someone else by allowing that person to be of support to you.

I remember a moment a few years back when I needed help. It was uncomfortable at first, but I needed help. I caught myself in the discomfort and allowed myself to let go. It was this phase in my life that taught me the divine set up of this circle of helping and receiving. Both is holy, when done with the right attitude. On the other side of the discomfort there is this beautiful feeling of allowing the help to come in and support you in the moment that you cannot do it for yourself. It points directly at your value of simply being.

When you get past the discomfort, or the thinking of “not good enough to receive”- which comes in many shapes and sizes, sometimes even hidden in other perceptions – you connect with the endless value of your own soul.



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