Last year I chose the theme of self-generosity for 2019, meaning being as generous and open-hearted towards myself as I am so easily to others during this festive season. It took only a few moments after reading this week’s topic to choose this intention all over again for 2020. I have made wonderful progress, and the comparison I made last year of it being much like muscle training turned out to be spot on. My self-generosity muscles have been used regularly and consequently have become more defined. Still, I feel there is more potential left.
I think there is a benefit to not choosing goals for myself to reach in the New Year, but reading the energy of my own life for what’s timely and setting an intention accordingly. Life is already on the way of my intention instead of me having to work and fight to make the goals happen that way. That’s what happened in 2019 as, funnily enough, I had quite forgotten about the chosen topic of self-generosity and was reminded by my own article from January 1st only recently. Yet this year was happening all under this aspect.
I have learned how to connect with genuine feelings of self-love at any given moment, even when I am frustrated and angry with myself. Then it might take a little longer, I have to admit, and I still have to remind myself of doing it in such situations.
My feelings of gratitude are strong these days. I often feel deep gratitude for the everyday things I have in my life that often seem so commonplace, like running water or flowers on my desk or for something I dropped not breaking. It’s a gratitude that is rejuvenating and that I also feel towards the things I am good at. I see my own strengths with gratitude.
I have a friend who is an empath like me and is, therefore, more on the sensitive side. She is such a great example to me, as she is very well connected with her personal needs and takes great care of them. She has the habit of checking in with herself often and quickly becomes aware of what is required for her to stay or come back into balance. My intention is to incorporate that habit more in my own life as I often forget to think about what I need in the moment, esp. when I’m in the “doing”-mode.
Talking about the “doing”-mode perfectly leads to what aspect of self-generosity shows itself right now. I think I’ll call it “grace vs. works”. I am very much a doer. When I want to change something I go and try to do my all to make it happen. Recently I’ve been bumping up against things I am not capable of changing on my own. My works alone are not what it takes to alter things long-term. I’ve become frustrated about that fact, even hopeless at times to ever change “it” when time and time again I was pointed towards the concept of grace.
You can call it flow, the right timing, the universe’s help. I call it grace—divine grace. It’s this idea that not only can I not change some things, it’s that I don’t have to. I have to be active and use my power to create what I want, but I don’t have to do it all alone. I will be provided with the change, if I but open myself up to receiving it vs. working my behind off; aka “grace vs. works”. It’s definitely a part of self-generosity I want to focus on in 2020: to do my best and then let that be enough. I want to be happy with what I can do and content with what I cannot. I will allow a greater force outside of me to provide for me what’s right. I choose to relax into all of that and enjoy life, as imperfect as it and I may seem at times.
What a prospect not only for a new year, but for a whole new decade!