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Shine Your Way

 In Circle the Child, Weekly Forum Discussion

Written by: Melanie Groves; Circle the Child

All of our tears will dry faster in the sun starting today“.  I love this lyrical reference from the song “Shine your way” by Owl City and Yuma. It’s so uplifting. Have a listen here. It also for me talks to emotions or the range of them.

Emotions. I used to hear that word and say it with a capital Eeeeeeeeeeee. The word for me used to invoke fear. Fear of loss of control or lack of fitting in. “She’s so emotional“, you’re so sensitive“. I’ve heard this a myriad of times whether at home, or at work. I used to try to bottle it up. Keep a poker face for fear of making others feel uncomfortable for being alive; for having emotions. Let’s be clear, I am not even talking full out temper tantrums, throwing things in a fit of anger all red faced, or shrieking and crying in despair. Even a full belly laugh used to escape my lips and make me feel judged. “what do you have to be so happy about“.

ENOUGH! When did our humanness become something to keep under wraps and hidden? Maybe it’s my maturity, maybe it’s becoming awake, maybe it’s losing my dad but I am done with it. Hello world here I am. And guess what, like those really expensive dolls, I laugh, I cry, I get angry, I get frustrated and I sometimes feel multiple things at once. True to last week’s topic, I am my best self when I am my true self. And my true self is multifaceted, like a rainbow. Which means all those emotions live inside me. Like in the Disney movie Inside Out (yup another kids movie reference lol). So now I won’t hide my tears anymore because you might be uncomfortable. I am not sorry. I won’t stifle my sheer joy right now and I am going to laugh heartily and heck I might even snort or laugh water out my nose if it’s truly magnificently funny. I won’t smile less because you are grumpy. I also am done pasting a smile on my face for fear that I might throw your day off balance because today I might be angry or frustrated. I want to feel it all in the moment.

Take off the makeup, the wig, the fake lashes and nails. Naked. Raw. Filled with emotions. Emotion words aren’t dirty words. In fact they are what cleanses me. They are what keeps me grounded. Emotions, feelings, they are my little gas gauge telling me where my thoughts have gone and how my tank is doing. They are the warning signal to tell me I am straying from my path and they become the opportunity to observe what has lead me to these feelings. They are there to teach. They don’t judge.  And so, I have learned to allow the feelings to be there, without judgement. I simply observe them with awareness, compassion and understanding for how I got to this point. Shoving emotions down never served me. It took me away from my true self. Sadness, anger, frustration, they all happen. And that’s ok. The trick is not to set up camp and live here. It’s ok to visit and then reframe and readjust my perspective. It’s not always easy for sure. It sucks to go through the negative emotion. But it can also be a wise teacher. The ease comes with allowing their presence instead of our natural inclination of resisting and being open to the lesson of the emotion.

So when that mood hits I listen. I feel it. I learn from it. Then I look for the sun, I walk in nature, dance it off or even sleep it off because I know that my tears will dry faster in the sun.

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